This is me admiring my Fuzzy’s belly fuzz. Fuzzzzzz. <3 I never thought I’d like fuzzy guys *because* of their fuzz and not *despite* their fuzz. I remember being in a tent and a guy with a hairy chest was touching me but I needed to pee and his fuzz was intimidating but mostly I needed to pee so so badly and my plan was to lie still all night because my bladder was so so full but the last time I’d tried to find the toilets on my own I got really really lost forever and at festivals it’s like the early nineties because you just have no phone!! Not with charge anyway; my friend drained mine. :( And one time I went on a date with another guy with a hairy chest but he said something weird about not seeing the point in one night stands and how he wanted a girlfriend, and then I just felt weird.
My fuzzy creature is super super perfect. I never thought I’d find someone so perfect - thinking I would would have seemed crazily unrealistic. If I wrote all his qualities down on a piece of paper you would read it and think, “Yep that person isn’t real - you made that shit up.” I think even when I wrote a list of my ideal qualities in a guy back when I was young enough to think that was an okay idea (I think my friend told me to do it), even when I wrote a list I knew was just fantasy, that list did not match up to this person right here (or in the kitchen where he is right now, making small talk with my roommate who is usually critical but said he was “amazing” because of his work [and also she approved when she asked if he smoked and I said no]). I later changed my list to something more realistic: “plays video games, likes metal.” But what I always really wanted was a guy who I’d see as a role model and who felt more mature and experienced and could take me on adventures and introduce me to new things and who was competent and comforting and super super intelligent. There was a point where I realised that even if I didn’t expect all that stuff from a guy, I’d still secretly want it, and it was a lot to want from someone who was just as human as me, so I decided I’d remain single until I didn’t want someone who would improve me as a person. But somehow I found that person when I wasn’t looking. He just appeared in front of me, in a club, holding both my hands. I usually react weirdly to stuff like that, but there was something about him that convinced me that he was basically Jesus and that he’d take me on alllll the adventures. We went on an adventure that very night! We rode a train, completely sober, with coffee, and it was comfortable (there’s usually that weird bit when you’re sobering up in a taxi and trying to avoid acknowledging that you knew nothing about each other and were just going to have sex and part ways and that maybe one of you (not me) saw that as maybe a slightly forced or unnatural practice, or that weird bit on a bus where you realise you made a huge mistake and he’s asking you, “Have you just realised you’ve made the hugest mistake?” and asking if he should just get off the bus, but you’re trying to be polite and you know he already paid the bus fare). The second time I visited him, he had Reddit on one monitor and QI on the other, and I knew that even though I was in a weird point in my life and it took me ages to warm up to people and enjoy their company, this amazing human was worth making an effort with.
I will proofread this later, maybe.